my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize