Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
