I wish i was in the wii world.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
