this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
