She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
