so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
