hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
