you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You were trust falling into bushes
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
