if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
