Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
