It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
