I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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