I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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