nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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