i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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