Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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