I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Sorry about my life...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
