your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
