I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
