you would pick up someone in the library
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
