NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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