I feel like I'm in dance class right now
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
