we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
