Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
