i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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