I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize