My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
