Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
