Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
