chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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