woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
