Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
