you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
