That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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