Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
