how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
