There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
