I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
