please come you make the beer taste better
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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