I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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