his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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