Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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