She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
