hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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