It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
