We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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