Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
