You made me cry and you don't even care
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
