Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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