Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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