i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
