HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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