I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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