I am spending my child support on dildos
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I still have a little drunk in my system
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
