Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
