I think my fart just growled at me.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
