if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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