Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize