she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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