Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
