so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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