i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
