How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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