He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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