Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
