Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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