It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
